In the past fossil fuels have whipped up on renewable energy. But now the masses, including the President, are beating up on fossil fuels as being dirty, polluting, disease-causing, climate damaging and a whole host of additional disgusting things. Before condemning coal think about this:
1. The smell of burning coal in a campfire will keep other capers from crowding in with their comping posts or coming over to show pictures of their grandkids.
2. Coal can be used to make natural gas sound appealing. When hydraulic fracturing drillers are accused of causing earthquakes, they can say “Would you rather have coal mining blow up the whole countryside?”
3. Lots of jobs are created for cleaning up resulting pollution from mining coal and burning coal. Also, researchers and health professionals are needed for studying and treating lung problems. These are really good-paying jobs.
5. A burning landscape of open coal seams gives us a real-life, frightening picture of what Hell might look like.
6. For centuries canaries have warned minors of danger by sacrificing their lives to poisonous gas. Coal mines need to be kept going to allow these amazing birds to continue this legendary, heroic and loving role.
7. On occasion people have though they are having a heart attack or other serious health problem, when actually it was just the earth shaking from coal mining blasts causing them to imagine a health problem. Imagine the relief they felt when finding out it was only the earth blowing up by their homes.
8. Mining or burning coal may cause COPD and CRUD, but the U.S. GDP, GSP, REI, and GNI will all go up PDQ by increasing coal consumption.
9. Dams holding coal-mining waste sludge have collapsed, causing whole towns to be wiped out, thus creating an area for building a pretty new town.
10. By having coal as a solid fixture in our culture, musical artist will be inspired to create more classics like “Coal Miner’s Daughter.”
11. Flakey limps of coal are the all-time perfect gift for expressing sentiments to an ex-spouse on the date of their wedding.
12. Adversity and hardship can strengthen the human body. Those who survive increased coal pollution may develop killer immune systems.